Let Them Be Right

. . .And be a little happier yourself. (and stay tuned for a special update below. . .)

Richard Carlson’s book Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff. . .And it’s All Small Stuff has a brief chapter entitled “Let Others Be Right Most of the Time.”

I think he’s right.

Think of all the energy it takes to defend your opinion, to take a stand, to be right all the time. It’s exhausting. As Carlson asks us to ask ourselves, “Do I want to be right, or do I want to be happy?”

We’ve forgotten how to say, “I don’t know, I don’t have all the answers, I have room to learn, I don’t have to always be right.” We’ve lost that art because in our society, it’s a giant no-no. We are encouraged to always be bright, knowledgeable, and have all the answers.

But the truth is: no one has all the answers all the time. It’s okay to let the other person be right. And it’s okay not to know.

Letting the other person be right is a very giving gesture. And it saves you tons of mental and emotional energy. It opens up our curiosity and leaves room to learn and grow. Not knowing is one of the fundamental aspects of the Zen concept of Beginner’s Mind.

When I was young, I was embarrassed to say “I don’t know.” Deep down I always had a little place of doubt where I knew there was more for me to learn and more for me to understand than I currently did. So I often let others be “right” about things.

At the time, I saw this as a weakness.

Now I see it as one of the most spiritual and generous stances I could have taken. TZT

WORKSHOP UPDATE:

I was so happy to share my Zen Teacher presentation with the Tehama County Department of Education Teacher Induction program last Wednesday afternoon. What a very fun workshop with a great group of educators. It was a blast, and let me give a special shout out to our excellent moderator, Kim Clawson (pictured below. . .)

These teachers had to attend multiple workshops and comments in the chat of my workshop said “best training yet,” “meaningful and helpful,” and simply “amazing.” I’m truly humbled to think that I’m helping teachers, as they are my heroes.

It’s strange to think, though, that teachers need the message of reducing stress, improving self-care, and avoiding burnout EVEN MORE now than they did when The Zen Teacher: Creating Focus, Simplicity, and Tranquility in the Classroom came out over 10 years ago.

If your school, district, or education organization would like to experience this workshop—either in person or virtually—reach out here or email me at teachingzen@gmail.com. And thanks for being here. . .